every new beginning starts with some other beginning’s end

I’ve been trying to explain my feelings as of late to people in this way: It’s like I have one foot in America and one foot still in Germany. I’m trying to figure out how to live in the present. How to say goodbye well and make the most of my time here while also looking forward to the next adventure God has for me. Here’s some things that have been happening lately that are “the end” and demanding my attention here, and some things that are “the beginning” and exciting and making it very clear that God is preparing the way for another new beginning in the states:

The end:
-Today I went to T-Mobile to set my cell phone to be shut off January 15th
-Today was Bamberg Middle High School’s final football game EVER 😦
-The other day I packed several boxes to start mailing to the states
-My car has been sold for over a month now
-It is now officially cold. Summer and fall are gone, only one season left to experience for the last time. My iPhone says it is 37 degrees F at the time of writing this (in the middle of the night).
-I am planning my last trips to see other countries.
-I am getting ready to train my local hire to take over for the last few months
-Bamberg is closing fast and businesses are consolidating and it is sad and weird.
-My last Staff Conference is coming up in a couple of weeks where I will be goodbyed- looking forward to quality time with friends but not the emotional goodbye where everyone says nice things to you while you sit with everyone looking at you. Awkward!

The beginning:
-While we were packing my stuff, my best friend wrote an encouraging sticky note and put it on every single thing she bubble wrapped so that I would “not be so sad when unpacking” ❤ Also, she bought her ticket to the states for 2 months in February. What an awesome thing to look forward to- introducing my German best friend to the US for the first time!
-A donor recently gave $5,000 (yes you read that right) to help with my moving expenses!
-Skyping with a wonderful mentor in my life who does admin for YL Chattanooga and she suddenly exclaimed “Oh my gosh I didn’t realize you’d be coming to weekly Young Life staff meetings! Let’s have lunch every Tuesday after them at a different place in Chattanooga!” and both of us teared up at the thought of how good our God is!
-A friend I knew in Chattanooga and wished I’d had more time to get to know is moving back there soon and is going to try to look for a house we can be roommates in.
-I’ve had so many people stateside tell me how excited they are that I’ll be closer, including club kids and families from Bamberg.
-Witnessing God healing friends and friendships in the states recently.

I’m in a strange place in life, praying for contentment and motivation and trying to live in the moment and not in fear. Perfect love drives out fear- so for now I’m trying to stay close to the One who is with me through all of this and understands. I find myself spending a lot more time in solitude and prayer. Not a bad thing at all, and I think it’s what will carry me through this transition, as well as your prayers and encouragement! Thanks to you all for that, by the way. I am blessed.


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